Taking Chances

I keep thinking about the "micro-marriage" posting from Gwendolyn's blog. My comment to her was very vague. I didn't feel like writing a manuscript like some of the others. This is my chance to share my feelings knowing darn well that my husband and friends might read this. That's what life is about, taking chances.

By the time I reached 24, I was ready to live on my own and make my own rules. My first mistake was moving to an area to be closer to a guy. Shortly after that, the relationship ended. Like other women, I blamed myself and continued the cycle of bad decisions by choosing the wrong men. Ladies, that's our problem. We want the "bad boys" because it's a challenge. After it's over, we never learn to heal before we move on to someone else. Mentally, you can't start a new relationship until you resolve the last one. So we get into our little groups and bash the men to make ourselves feel better. A week later, you give in to his "bootie call" and you think you're back in his arms again. C'mon now. Some of you know who I'm talking about. I used to be one of them!

Ladies, accept the fact that things don't always work out. It doesn't mean its always your fault. Learn from the experience. I learned to eat different foods from some of the men I dated. One of them convinced me to go back to school. Another one showed me how to handle myself on the street. Let's be like the men...confident, ambitious and independent. We have a lot to learn from them. If you never find that special person, you have yourself. At least you can say you took the chance. Pen, I know we're going to have this conversation tonight.

Micro-marriage, please!! It's crap. So my marriage is up for renewal this May, right? Again, if you don't take a chance with someone, don't get married. Let's over analyze everything to death! As women we love to do that. I don't need to know every second of the day how Andrew feels about me. We believe in our marriage and we look forward to the future. Neither one of us is jealous of each other in any way. It's not a perfect marriage by far but we strive to work on that.

I had to write about this because I hear my girlfriends complain every day. Nothing is easy in this life, but don't make it even harder for yourself. Try to be your best no matter what situation you're in. Please email me if you would like to comment on this privately, I have a lot more to say about this issue but for now this should suffice.

'The quality of your communication depends upon the choices you make in each moment, whether you tune your emotional body to love or to fear'
Ruiz, The Mastery of Love